


Not the Best Word to Use for Male Chickens.

by GayForWerewolves



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, And a birthday fic, Chicken belongs to Blue_Sparkle, College AU. kinda., Gen, I'm just using her for funsies, M/M, misunderstandings and the use of 'cock' in nonsexual situations, pre-nwalin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 04:04:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8188946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayForWerewolves/pseuds/GayForWerewolves
Summary: Dwalin sends a very misleading text to Nori.
A birthday fic for Val. <3





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Blue_Sparkle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Sparkle/gifts).



“Do you like cocks?”

Nori had been staring at the text from Dwalin for the last twenty minutes. Did he...did he _what_!?

Nori and Dwalin had been...hanging out? Casually dating? Vaguely spending time together... for the past few months. Nori was very much attracted to Dwalin but he wasn't sure how Dwalin felt about him. 

It had started as being Dwalin’s cousin, Frerin’s roommate in freshman year and had somehow moved past an uncomfortable attraction to the enormously tall senior to something like friendship by the end of the year. They had started hanging out together without Frerin, or Thorin, or any of their other mutual friends when a few months prior, Dwalin had asked Nori if he wanted to go see a movie that everyone else had professed to not wanting to see. Nori had jumped at the chance for some alone time and the awkward dance of “are we just close friends or does he like me back” had begun.

And now this.

Nori looked back at his phone again, where it was sitting threateningly on his duvet in front of him. The text was still the same.

Nori wanted to type back “Yes! Yours in particular! I've had a crush on you since you knocked on my dorm room door and I opened it and you said ‘you're not Frerin’! I like cocks very much! Yesss!!!” but that seemed too forward. At the same time “yep”, “sure”, and “mmhm” didn't seem like enough and Nori’s panicking brain couldn't come up with a decent middle ground.

Dwalin had just recently moved into his own apartment and hadn't invited Nori over yet. Was this... was this his way of asking Nori over? Was this a booty call?

Nori picked up his phone and it buzzed before he could start typing out a response, startling him. Nori fumbled with it, cursing under his breath.

“Shit!” Nori’s phone fell out of his hands, bouncing on the bed as it buzzed again. He picked it back up, breathing deeply before checking the new messages.

“I got a hen instead.” The first text read and Nori raised an eyebrow. Wait... was this? The next text was a picture and Nori clicked on it so it would load. 

It was a picture of a chicken, clearly happily snuggled up in Dwalin’s arms. Nori sighed. Of course.

Dwalin had been talking about getting a chicken ever since he found out that his new apartment complex allowed all sorts of pets, including small farm animals. 

Nori opened up a text to Frerin.

“Your stupid cousin needs to learn how to choose his words better!!!” He sent, adding in an angry emoji for good measure. Frerin texted back almost immediately.

“Omfg did he text you about cocks too!?” it read, preceded by seven crying laughing emojis. 

“What is his problem!?” Nori texted back.

Another picture text from Dwalin arrived while Nori was waiting for Frerin to text back. He opened it and this time it was Dwalin’s overjoyed smiling face next to the chicken who was sitting comfortably in what looked like a cat bed. Nori wanted to roll his eyes and be mad but Dwalin just looked so happy that all he could feel was mild irritation at the misunderstanding. And possibly slight envy over the chicken’s new position as Dwalin’s favorite, but he wasn't going to let himself acknowledge that. Nori’s phone buzzed with Frerin’s return text.

“I can't decide if I want to tell him that no one but him was thinking about chickens with those texts or not...” it read.

“Please don't.” Nori hastily texted back. The last thing he needed was for Dwalin to know that Nori had been thinking about his cock.

“Aw how else is he gonna realize you want the D?” Frerin had abused the winky emoji with this text and Nori could feel his face growing hotter. 

“Don't you dare Frerin, I know where you live.” He typed back.

In the meantime Dwalin has sent three more pictures of his new chicken and a “Nori?”. He had to say something.

“She’s very cute.” he sent. It was true, even if Nori wasn't an expert on what made a cute chicken, he could tell that Dwalin had chosen a good one. “What’s her name” he added.

Frerin sent a text that was just the tongue sticking out emoji and Nori rolled his eyes, sending an identical one back before checking Dwalin’s newest message.

“Uhhh...I've just been calling her ‘Chicken’ for now” it read, and Nori tried desperately not to knock the glass of water off his nightstand as he cracked up laughing, rolling back into the pile of pillows at the head if his bed.

“‘Chicken’ oh my god!” Nori wheezed out laughing, “He named her ‘Chicken’, that’s too funny!” he hit the call button next to Dwalin’s name in their text log, laughing too hard to continue typing coherently. Dwalin picked up after two rings.

“You named her ‘Chicken’!?” Nori choked out through laughter.

“Hey, I've only had her for a few hours.” Dwalin defended himself on the other end of the line. Nori tried to stop laughing so hard by breathing in deep shakey breaths. 

“No, no. I like it.” Nori said. “It’s on the nose! A very cute name.” Nori could hear Dwalin grumbling on the other end of the line. “Aww don't be mad, she’s adorable!” Dwalin grumbled again but there was less conviction behind it.

“Well, that’s true.” he said and Nori grinned and rolled his eyes at the fond tone in Dwalin’s voice. “Do you wanna come over and meet her?” 

Nori hadn't been expecting that.

“Um...” he stalled, “yeah, sure. When?”

“Uh, right now?” Dwalin sounded unsure and Nori felt the butterflies in his stomach flutter.

“Sure, uh.” Nori looked down at the ratty old hoodie and pajama pants that he was wearing and made a face, he definitely needed to change. “I need to put on some real clothes and then I'll be over, ‘kay?” 

Dwalin’s gentle laugh over the line made Nori’s heart skip a beat and he glared at his chest like that would make it stop.

“Alright, I'll see you in... about twenty minutes?” He asked.

“Yeah. Probably. Good thing your apartment is close.” Nori picked through his clothes in an attempt to find something that was clean enough and presentable enough, hearing a voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like his older brother, nagging at him to do his laundry.

“Well I'll let you get dressed. I have to check to see if Chicken likes her new food, anyway. See ya!” 

“Yeah, see ya.” Nori replied before Dwalin hung up. 

Nori pulled on a fresh pair of underwear and texted Frerin.

“I'm getting to meet the chicken before anyone else~” he typed out and added another tongue sticking out emoji.

“Aw give her some feather ruffles for me!” Frerin texted back. Nori pulled on a shirt and snorted a laugh as he texted back while shaking out his loose sleep braid.

“Will do” Nori sent, grabbing his hair brush and shoving his feet in a pair of shoes. His phone buzzed again as Nori was putting his hair up in a purposefully messy bun on top of his head. He grabbed his phone, wallet, and keys and was leaving his college apartment to grab his bike from the racks out front as he checked his phone again.

“And make sure you tell Dwalin just how interested in cocks you are” it said, followed by an unholy amount of emojis. Nori could feel his face heating up again.

“Fuck you Frerin!” Nori typed back as he swung his leg over his bike, shoved his phone in his jacket pocket and started making his way toward Dwalin’s new apartment.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Birthday Val, I hope your day has been filled with great things!


End file.
